How do you draw the limit of what to do or not to do in courtship? In other words, when is far too far in dating or courtship? So what are these no go areas in courtship?
Anything goes for the world in courtship, but not for children of God. Some may argue that times have changed. That is correct, but it does not change the purity requirements for the children of God in courtship. No doubt, the worldview is broader and liberal than before, yet the evil and immorality that come with it calls for caution.
Ideally, more freedom should come with equal responsibility, but the reverse is what we see today. Do your homework; you will discover the purity of courtship before marriage is long gone. This is because of freedom to do as one pleases.
What is courtship?
The period of courtship is the time when two people who intend to get married will learn to know each other better. It is more than a mere friendship. Largely, its success determines the success or otherwise of the marriage.
Because cultures and personal disposition differs, there may be a few exceptions to some of these points. However, you must allow the spirit of God to lead you, but not the standard or popular idea of the world.
In the next few lines, I will deliver the no go areas in courtship that you must observe to stay clean before your wedding.
- You should be discreet in your meeting point and time.
You know no one plays with a burning coal without being burnt. The Bible warned us to run from the appearance of evil. Therefore, do not visit each other alone at an odd hour of the day or place. Since our level of discipline and self-control differ, stay within the limit of the God’s grace on you. Still, you should not abuse such grace thinking nothing would happen.
I had an experience when I was growing as a youth. I usually visit these three sisters on my way home. Without any ill feelings or ulterior motives, I will greet and have a handshake with each of them. One day, one of the sisters called me privately and told me she does not like men shaking hands with her. She said such handshakes from men aroused her sexually. That means she knew her limit.
Some may hug and peck the opposite sex especially in a culture that allows that without resulting to another thing. So if you will feel uncomfortable with the opposite sex, avoid meeting along in the room or secluded places.
Since anything goes under the cover of darkness, so be careful where you meet for prayer and discussion. And for the ladies, never visit a man at home alone.
Also, read this: Overcoming lust as a Christian: 6 ways that works.
- Watch your emotional and physical contact.
One area to watch in courtship is your emotional contact. It is natural to seek physical, emotional, and social connection in a relationship. But how do we define when is too far. Without defining the limit of physical contact in courtship, immorality and sin will take over the relationship. That raises the question of if people in a relationship can kiss and hug while courting or dating. Concerning various cultures, the Bible and the Holy Spirit will be our reference point. Let us checks the following Bible passages: Thessalonians 5:22, 1 Corinthians 10:31-33. Proverbs 16:2
- Don’t try to change your partner.
The period of courtship is a time to know each other better. Often, you discover each other’s weaknesses and shortcomings. Nonetheless, it is not an avenue to change your partner. However, you can offer suggestions and ways of reconciling your differences. But trying to force the person into your mold will do more harm than good. One truth in marriage is you must live with certain shortcomings of your partner.
Also, read this: 5 Godly marriage principles every youth should know.
- Sex is one of the no go areas in courtship.
I do not think I need to over flog this, yet I must mention it. For the Christians, sex is the exclusive right of the married, but not for those in courtship. You do not need sex sampling or a cohabiting test to confirm a true love.
- Make a realistic demand on the future.
It is true, courtship is a period to plan, but you can spoil the fun if you handle it poorly. As a rule of thumb, reserve issue that is better handled in the future for the future. Do not be obsessed about the future that you missed the fun of the present. Therefore, ask enough questions that will not make you look like a perfectionist or a pessimist.
- Don’t give yourself stress on your partner’s phone.
You may tell me you belong to each other. I would not contest that, but you are still an individual with personal preferences. Therefore, do not go through your partner’s phone if you the person would not like that idea. More so, do not go through his or her messages and conversations if you cannot trust him or her. After all, we have some classified information that is reserved for only one of you.
- Space your meetings.
It is not out of place to want to be with each other throughout the day. Notwithstanding, spacing your meeting makes you fresh and new. It also adds value to the personality of both of you.
- Do not divulge sensitive issues online.
When you are in love, you will always want to pour out your mind through any means possible. However, this has its demerits. So weigh what you are about to share and consider if it will be wiser to do so when you see instead of on the air. Waiting to see each other may make you relax to present the issue better.
Also read this: 13 Wrong reasons for getting married.
- No sending of suggestive messages
As a Christian, you should not for any reason, send seductive information to your partner. This is not acceptable whether in text, audio, or video. Such action will cast doubt on the genuineness of your salvation and could break that relationship. Besides, if for any reason, the relationship does not work out, you have sold yourself out cheaply.
It is better for the people to tag you as a conservative Christian pleasing his creator than following the crowd by defiling your bed.
Your marriage can be clean and Holy if you adhere to these highlighted no go areas in courtship.
Let me know in the comment which part of these no go areas in courtship you think may be difficult for you or the youths to follow. You can also post your questions.
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