Observing simple, but important courtship guidelines can be the difference between a successful marriage and a failed union. Like a student preparing for an exam, the period of courtship will prepare you for the hurdles of marriage. These courtship tips are crucial because many broken relationships are due to immature handling of the courtship period.
Just as we have some no go areas in courtship, so we have some must do during courtship. Thus, this post delivers you some nuggets to understanding the person you are about to marry.
It is natural to play the good person in courtship. But that is not a good idea because you will be digging a deep dish for your future. While this period is a time to make some adjustments, yet you must be yourself. But ensure you fine-turned your shortcomings with the person you are dating.
Being realistic will make your partner know who he or she is dealing with. And with that, the person can decide whether or not to continue with the relationship. The fear of losing a loved one is the reason some camouflage and pretend to be who they are not. This is unhealthy for each other. It doesn’t guarantee real love.
- Respect each other opinions.
Respecting each other’s views is a sure way to have confidence in each other. This gives the confidence that you will treat each other fairly when you eventually get married. Where your partner’s opinion differs from yours, gives room for clearance on the issue. Sometimes, you may give time to review the matter at a more relaxed time. Accepting a complementary role to each other strengthens the union.
- Be a good listener.
One of the important courtship guidelines in courtship is being a good listener. The key to effective communication is good listening skills. Never jump into a conclusion when discussing with your partner in courtship. Do not also assume you know what the person wants to say.
Besides, understanding the temperament of the person you are dating is crucial to getting your courtship right. To some, they like details when explaining a point, but to others, they are prudent with their words. Sometimes there is a big difference between what a speaker says and what the listener thinks he said. So the way around this is to be a good listener. Speak a few words and listen more.
- Plan your tomorrow today.
If you are to discountenance any of the important courtship guidelines, it should not be this point. Part of the purpose of courtship is to plan your future together today. You sometimes hear married people say ‘ I never bargain for this’. They mean they never expected certain things they are now seeing in their relationship.
While it is wrong to dwell so much in the future that you lose the fun of today, yet you should discuss the basic aspect of your marriage before you get there. Such issues as where to reside, work, education, vocation, the size of the family, the position of the relatives, ministry, money management, sex, and insurance are a few areas you must no gloss over in your courtship.
Being afraid of conflict in a relationship or courtship is like postponing the evil day. Conflict is natural in every relationship. It is a healthy and helpful development if you handle it correctly and maturely. Therefore, do not be afraid of conflict.
Nonetheless, you should avoid creating one willfully once you know what causes it. Conflict helps you understand your likes and dislikes. It means identifying each other’s weaknesses and strengths. So when it comes, listen, do not be defensive, respect each other, and see the issue from the other person’s point of view.
- Involve God all the way.
This is perhaps the first among the important courtship guidelines to follow. Others may look away from this point, but not the children of God. God instituted marriage and we must involve him. In fact, the success of your marriage is narrow if you did not involve God all the way. He knows the heart of the person you are dealing with.
Besides that, he can handle the devil when he tries to truncate God’s plan for your marriage. This is why prayer is crucial while choosing who to marry and his wisdom to make the right decision as you move on in the relationship. Genesis 2:18-25
- Discontinue if the price is not okay.
A broken courtship is better than a broken marriage. Though there are compromises in every union, I will advise you to discontinue the union if the price is too heavy. For instance, it will be suicidal to continue with a fellow who will always raise his or her voice at you whenever you disagree. Or continue with a person that will attempt or even hit you while you are dating.
It is a time to quit if your health or blood combination will post a serious issue later in the marriage. If you also discovered you did not agree on several issues that concern both of you, quit that relationship.
One important area you must not compromise in marriage is the spiritual state of the person you are dating. Never consider dating a non-Christian.
If while in courtship, you discover the person is not a Christian, closing the relationship will be the best option. This type of price in my judgment is too heavy for anyone to dare.
- Seek for advice where necessary.
Since you still learn the rope of marriage, there is wisdom in seeking advice and support when you run into a problem. Often, what the young people cry wolf about maybe a small issue that a mature person will deal with. So do not make your courtship journey a solo type. Therefore, involve and learn from those who have gone ahead of you. They can guide you through with minimal hitches.
- Little things matter sometimes.
Never underestimate the little things in your affair. Ask those who are old enough in marriage, and they will tell you small things matter in a marriage. Small things can improve or destroy a great relationship. The difference is you identify them and handle them right.
Little things like failure to pick or return a call can be a serious issue with some people. To some, going through their phones or mail can cause a misunderstanding.
The period of courtship is a transiting period of your marriage. The success or otherwise of this sensitive period can determine whether you will get your marriage right or not. If you do the needful at this stage, you will succeed in laying a solid foundation for your marriage.
Though this is not an exhaustive list Important courtship guidelines, yet they are the basic that will start you on sound marital footings.
Perhaps you have other hints, do not hesitate to add them in the comment below.
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Life becomes easier when we walk together.